FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

What is Surrogate Partner Therapy (SPT), and is it for me?

Surrogate Partner Therapy is a hands-on supplemental modality to talk therapy that models and practices healthy relationship, communication, and intimacy skills. The client, the surrogate partner, and the clinician work together in the triadic model, meaning a clinician is required to be a part of the team. Surrogate Partner Therapy is generally for non-partnered clients with a history that has disrupted their abilities to date and find a partner. While Surrogate Partner Therapy used to commonly be referred to as ‘sex surrogacy’, the industry, or at least myself and my colleagues, have moved away from the term because the work is not about sex. Our work is focused on relationship skill building, which can have a significant impact on one’s sexual experiences. For more on the evolution of surrogate partner therapy, read here.

Please note that as of January 1, 2024, I started working wholely in a platonic space with clients. As of November 2024, I’ve decided to stop referring to myself as a surrogate partner, as I don’t want my offering to my clients to be considered around its proximity to sex. I offer clients a professional relationship that allows for authentic platonic connection, a brave space to find yourself, and a protected space to show up in your most authentic ways. While my work isn’t changing, how I label myself and my modality is. Stay tuned. I’m still evolving into my most authentic self, too.

Are you a therapist?

No. I’m not a mental health therapist, meaning I haven’t gone to school for any talk therapy training, nor am I a licensed therapist or counselor. My training is all outside the collegiate system. You can view my training history here.

What if I don’t have a therapist?

I always say that our work together is best when used in conjunction with talk therapy; however, it is not a requirement. If you’d like support finding a talk therapist, I’m happy to help as best as possible.

I’m a therapist; how do I connect my clients with you?

If you are a therapist and wondering how I’d like you to connect me with your client, please reach out first so I can get a feel for your client, and so we can see if we are compatible for collaboration. Let’s connect and we can schedule a call. Potential clients should ask their therapist to reach out. Also, there are additional resources for clinicians/therapists here.

Who do you work with?

I work with all genders. Everyone is welcome.

I tend to attract clients across many types of neuro divergence, likely because I live there too.

Are you looking to connect deeper with yourself and others? I can meet you where you are.

Will insurance pay for this?

No. Insurance will not cover this type of work.

Does a session need to include touch?

No! Definitely not. While my background is in cuddle therapy, touch is NEVER required. I meet my clients where they are.

Could this be available as exposure therapy?

Yes, Human Connection Coaching is a version of exposure therapy. You are exposing your nervous system to intimacy and connection.

What do you mean by “platonic” and/or “non-sexual”?

I’m delighted to talk about sex in sessions. I have a ton of sexy knowledge from both education and experience. I want to be someone you feel super comfortable talking about sex with. That said, I’m not interested in engaging in any form of sex with my clients. I don’t show up with sexual energy with my clients, nor do I want to cultivate it. So think of me as your friend, mentor, sorority sister, auntie - basically anyone other than your sexual partner. Am I ok with my clients wanting to have sex with me? For sure. Especially when our work is about the client’s sexuality. Even though sexual contact isn’t part of the work, it doesn’t mean your sexuality isn’t welcome in our space together.

Do you still offer Cuddle Parties?

There may be Cuddle Parties in the near future. Join my mailing list to keep up to date.

Where are you located?

I am based in San Diego, California. I see clients in Los Angeles and Orange County monthly and in the Baltimore/DC area quarterly. Are you outside that area? You are invited to add your information to this form. You are also invited to connect with me to discuss me coming to you or you coming to me.

Are you a Tantrica or Dakini?

I’ve had this question before and I generally answer, “Since I don’t really know what that is, my answer is no.” (I’m not connected to Tantra in any way.)