Relational Healing Through Safe, Trusted Touch - Allowing for a Corrective Emotional Experience
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Human Connnection Lab

TLDR - In the human connection lab we get to build a connection with ourselves and others. Michelle works with all genders with a full spectrum of life history and specializes in working with survivors of child sexual assault, providing an opportunity to have emotionally corrective experiences.

The key to a healthy relationship is feeling safe - both emotionally and physically.

  • I work with people of all genders; most clients are single.

    I tend to work with clients needing support around body image, childhood sexual assault recovery, and/or mother wounds.

    Clients are seeking an emotionally corrective experience. This is a great space for experiential learners.

  • • Managing anxiety and depression

    • Setting boundaries, expressing needs, and desires

    • Feeling more empowered and overcoming past trauma

    • Recovering from abuse and neglect, including sexual, physical, and emotional trauma

    • Boosting self-esteem and dealing with body image issues

    • Overcoming codependency in relationships and attachment problems

    • Changing your understanding of consent and obligation. It's common to learn early on that people in authority can control our bodies, and it can be difficult to unlearn this belief.

  • You may be wondering what a session looks like. We begin by exploring how you want to connect, which can be a big question. Many clients struggle to answer it, so we work on figuring it out from the get-go. I use various exercises and coaching techniques during each session, without a set plan, to address whatever comes up in the moment. My role is to guide you in slowing down, being present, and tuning into your body's truth during our time together. It's like a live experiment where we strive to be authentic and face fears, in this safer space to take risks. As you become more comfortable, we gradually approach new challenges at a pace that suits you. Think of our sessions as the therapy of the social world.

    I call these sessions “Foundations of Human Connection” and they vary from 60 minutes to 3 hours, depending on each client's needs and availability. We'll discuss this in more detail during our intake call and decide together. I usually recommend starting with a 90-minute or 2-hour session.

  • Yes, there are additional options beyond the Foundations of Human Connection. During our sessions, I might recommend other methods to assist you. I can also connect you with other professionals if necessary.

  • The next thing to do is get in touch with me. I'd like to schedule a one-hour Zoom call to see if we're a good match to work together. We can chat and I can learn more about you. You can also ask me anything you want.

  • It's hard to predict how many sessions you'll need, but most people work with me for many months. Sessions are usually scheduled weekly or every two weeks. My location is in Rancho Bernardo, near the 15 freeway. If you want me to come to you, there's a $50 travel fee for areas within western San Diego County, around a 30-minute drive from Rancho Bernardo.

    Surrogate Partner Therapy, Professional Cuddling, and Touch Therapy - relational forms of therapy - are all an extremely intensive process for both client and practitioner. It is important to me to be able to offer this work to historically underserved populations while also abstaining from burnout so I can bring all of my clients my best self. For this reason I have implemented an anti-oppression rate-based structure, also known as “sliding scale,” wherein redistribution-range clients make it sustainable for me to serve my sliding scale clients.

    As part of our intake, we will determine our session rate. Please click here for more info.

  • If you're not in San Diego, that's okay. Clients can come to town for an in-depth workshop spanning several days. I can also come to you.

    We will build a schedule that works for you.

  • You don't have to see a talk therapist for Foundations of Human Connection sessions, but I believe it's more effective when clients also have a talk therapist.

  • When I say "reset your baseline," I mean helping your nervous system feel protected and secure. Our nervous systems develop from infancy, influenced by our primary caretaker. If our caretaker is stressed or distracted, it can affect our development. Thankfully, our brains are adaptable, so we can reset some of those early experiences.

    If you've been through a traumatic situation or relationship, your nervous system might not feel safe now. I specialize in helping clients feel safer in their nervous system. With my expertise and experience, I can help you feel more comfortable in your body and with others. Then, you can take this confidence into all your relationships.

If you have more questions, please check the FAQ. If you can't find the answer there, you can email your questions using 'Let's Connect.'

“Few practitioners can blend their own humanity with their expertise as readily and sincerely as Michelle. Her openhearted, well-boundaried poise is the hallmark of her distinct brand of compassionate professionalism. Her character and practice model a soft power, firm courage, and guiding discipline that is aspirational to clients and colleagues alike.”

— Brandon Hunter-Haydon, MSW, CSE, RYT and Surrogate Partner

"[You are] the very smart trauma-informed surrogate I’d most want to have a beer with because of your relatable and lively and playful self.”

— Sharyn Wolf, R-LCSW

Meet Michelle Renee

My name is Michelle and I’m a Surrogate Partner and Hands-On Clinically Minded Platonic Intimacy Guide based in San Diego, California. I’ve been working in human connection since 2015, with over 1,200 in-person session hours.  I’m humbled by the growth I’ve witnessed in my clients when they get a chance to experience safety in self, security, trust, acceptance, and self-empowerment.  I see my work as the physical therapy of emotional health.

I’m here to support you in discovering and loving your authentic self so that you can share the same love and acceptance with the people in your life, helping them do the same, over and over.

How?

By witnessing you from a place of unconditional positive regard.

By encouraging you to borrow my love for you, until you can harvest it for yourself.

By offering a laboratory for exploration where risk-taking is a little less risky.

By empowering you to discover and own your pleasures in life.

By liberating you from the idea that putting yourself first is selfish.

By modeling self-love, worth, and compassion. No higher power, no magic, no woo-woo. I’m a self-educated, girl next door with a giant heart and experience in my own growth process. I’ve done it. I know you can too.

I strive to build a deep connection with you while giving you permission to experiment with your boundaries, your desire, and your body.

This “safe space” allows you to explore and work through the human experience which can include, but is not limited to:

Trauma
Sexuality
Attachment wounds
Change in ability/circumstance
Body acceptance
Emotional and/or physical intimacy challenges

  • The following are common goals around human connection - the connection with yourslef and your connection with others. Do you have any of the same goals?
  • I want to lean how to be authentic. Who am I? Ihat it is that I want? What it is that I don't want?
  • I'd like to be comfortable in my own body.
  • I want to learn that it's OK for me to want things, to hae needs; that I'm not a bad person for having needs, wants, and preferences; that my wants don't have to replicate the person I'm with.
  • I want to learn how to advocate for my needs and wants in a way that isn't harmful to others.
  • I want to learn how to feel pleasure in my ody, that feeling good in my body isn't a bad thing.
  • I want to know that the way I touch could be a source of pleasure for someone else.
  • I want to approach human connection with an attitute of joy and anticipation, not fear and self-doubt.
  • I want to know what it feels like to feel safe in my body and with another person.
  • Do any of these common goals resonate? These goals can be addressed across the spectrum of my offerings in human connection from platonic to erotic, from cuddle therapy to surrogate partner therapy, and intimacy coaching. These goals

Surrogate Partner Therapy

Surrogate Partner Therapy (SPT) is a hands-on supplemental modality to talk therapy, used to model and practice healthy relationship skills, communication skills, and intimacy skills. The client, the surrogate partner, and the clinician work together in the triadic model.

Generally, clients seek Surrogate Partner Therapy because they experience obstacles to emotional or physical intimacy that prevent them from having healthy romantic and/or sexual relationships.

Some common obstacles may include:

• Orgasmic or Erectile Difficulty

• History of Abuse or Assault

• Sexually Naïve (Late-Life “Virgin”)

• Social Anxiety

• Orientation and Identity with LGBTQIA+

• Genital Pain

• Disability

…while others are less immediately apparent.

Less traditionally, clients may seek Surrogate Partner Therapy due to obstacles around:

• Lack of nurturing in childhood that has left the client struggling to self-regulate.

• Struggling to set and hold boundaries.

• Developing or regaining the ability to experience safety in their body post-SA or other abuse/trauma when moving through the world.

Regardless of the obstacle, Surrogate Partner Therapy addresses the whole person, rather than the symptoms. We work together to have healthy connections to ourselves and others.

Boundary Note: I do not engage in sexual contact with my clients. If that is important for the case, another surrogate partner may be a better fit. We can discuss it.

Think Surrogate Partner Therapy might be a good fit for your client? Let’s connect.

For clients interested in Surrogate Partner Therapy, please check out the Client Info Sessions hosted by EmbraceSPT.org.

Surrogate Partner Therapy - What can it look like?

I invite you to watch this touching segment from This is Life with Lisa Ling on CNN. In this segment, you’ll see Surrogate Partner Emiko working with two different clients. My Surrogate Partner Therapy sessions look very similar.

Be advised that this 25-minute clip contains some discussion of abuse, as well as nudity.

"Michelle is one of the most compassionate and thoughtful human beings on this planet. Not only that but Michelle is extremely, and I mean extremely, dedicated to her work. She is constantly doing more to expand the field, serve her community, open doors for clients and clinicians. Michelle lobbied me to do a course on Surrogate Partner Therapy (SPT) which was tremendously helpful in our clinical work together. She is consistently learning more about different therapeutic techniques and interventions. She even bought and read a dense trauma book made for clinicians to understand more about exposure therapy. Working with Michelle has truly opened my eyes to the immense power and healing of SPT. I am grateful that she was my first experience working with a surrogate partner and I know this relationship will go on for the rest of our careers."

—Vanessa Cushing, LPC

"Michelle Renee is a gifted surrogate partner, who I had the joy of working with this past  fall (2022 ). Michelle responded promptly to my inquiry, initially we met on FaceTime, where her knowledge and awareness of the triadic relationship of surrogate work was clearly communicated.

During the initial 3 way meeting with my client, her warmth, sensual and sexual knowledge along with a clear sense of professional boundaries was easily communicated. She presents her authentic self with a healthy sense of humor and naturalness.

As she worked with my client she made valuable astute observations along with well crafted and detailed written feedback of her sessions with the client. My client was very pleased and benefited greatly from the work.

It is with great pleasure that I recommend Michelle as a surrogate partner and colleague.

Additionally, I want to thank Andrew Hartman co-creator of Surrogate Partner Collective for referring me to Michelle.”

—Bryce Britton, MS